Social anxiety

As soon as I leave the doorway out of any structure I begin feeling anxious. Pressure on my chest hard to breathe. And it’s not even that bad I’m not in danger of physical violence but more the emotional kind. Hurt feelings circumstances scenarios in which I do not want to belong too.

working on my social anxiety, listened to as a man thinketh and it enlightened me.

 

— social situations are getting better, gonna get better, soon , o yeah

 

i live on the streets homeless, and a drunken lush.

Watch “Dragon Ball Z Kai – Final Chapters Part 2 – Available Now” on YouTube

Below is the video link to DBZKAI buu saga – fat Majin Buu kills babidi. 

Copy and paste link into your browser’s url… https://youtu.be/kDT1PavJcMU

I don’t think I like WordPress too much, at least not the free mobile app, can’t do as much, and I got a Pro account! Using the wp app on a cheap ZTE straight talk phone, too tho with low memory and CPU capability.
Still, amazing how like when I was 10 years old and tried to watch Dragon ball, in the year 2000, it was impossible on a 56k modem …

J B

Interactive Creativity

Working together, cyber link, towards the common goal of upgrading 

modern

 technology

korean lunch

  • Art influences, creates, and causes Advances in the computing model, large scale technological progress. Academia and science both greatly rely on Art.
  • Art and advances in technology, especially​ mode viewing: touch screen, graphic pen, virtual reality, visual elements, video players, picture images, photo editors,icons on Apps, CAD , 
  • I art! I mean I Love art, “I Art” means “i do art”. I find art useless. No meaning. Color shading lines. Expressions of the ephermal world. The importantance of art in the community is the advances in technology it necessitates for the human race (to me, I mean in my opinion this is the highest reason for Art) 

    This topic could delve into much , much deeper

     

    Are the technologies derived from art good or bad, affecting society as a whole positively or negatively​

    1. Idea #1: The human desire to express one self and our perceptions of the outside world date back over 40,000 years, in Eurasian cave paintings, 20,000 years in the  Lascaux cave, Dordogne, Southwest France. I love art, although I may view academia, scientific progress as being threatening to the human race, harmful to the planet, human life, other life forms, the naturality of the landscape, polluting, poisonous, the list can go on (with sources added later, upon request). This has cause for alarm, discretion, restraint to be used in the releasing of newly derived technologies, for artful purpose or otherwise.
    2. Idea #2. The attack on the common person’s freedom comes from advances in Science, technology. Policies enacted to be in accordance with the new technologies, ideas that come out, degrade human diginity, in America and all over the world. Intrusion into privacy, the camera recorder, loss of privacy, the Ill effects of globalisation in a technologically advanced world (fertilizer runoff pollution, carbon footprints of people, spread of disease, loss of culture, extinction, extraction of nonrenewable resources, genocide and war, and worsening famine). To maintain order in a technologically industrial nation, loyalty is demanded from all participants, this can cause social adhesion, but more commonly social problems, like the breaking down of a small community families loyalty to one another. Moreover, here in the tech-industry controlled first world, loyalty for your job, your allegiance to the industrial system MUST come before your loyalty to your family, friends, neighbors. This forced loyalty is not because the industrial world cares about you or your personal values , rights, but because you serve purpose in and to the technologic , industrialized global infrastructure. The values our societies teach us all are ” to keep us in order,” in this way commerce is handled, so businesses can conduct business, uninterfered, efficient, effective, to the maximum potential of the business firm. Profit is made this way. The bottom line, in a society modeled this way, becomes the only moral principle. Law is made in accordance with the rule that it should benefit, not harm, business commerce. With money and gross profit as the guiding principle of our communities, states, country, globe. Values of personal freedom and moral guiding principles such as humanitarian rights have little chance to no chance of success. What has happened is further losses of diginity, and basic humanitarian rights.
    3. Idea #3: The U S government’s censorship forbidding and banning of certain art forms and medium is morally unjust. This is not a correct, right thing to do, (ban art) in America, with a Bill of Rights and Constitution, that government must obey. I don’t agree that censorship of technologies, or banning of a technology’s introduction  into the market, is in any way beneficial either. Actively propagating the loss of technology seems like the most dangerous position, how cruel it almost seems

    The three previously mentioned ideas, all illustrate how scientific technologic progress, actually violate a person’s freedom, and how advanced/ing Art progresses technologic development . . .

    I believe any all art and art forms should be legal , their medium , media , content. All art should be free, freedom from perceptions of obscenity making them illegal

    I believe both individual freedom and artistic freedom is under attack. Artistic and daily personal freedoms needs protection from their adversaries. Hands beings’ freedom, in the United States of America; and globally, is being threatened.

    My day to day life is incredibly unbearable. I sleep outside, year round, I am unhealthy, sick all the time or have a cough. My Father has a degenerative nervous system disease, Parkinson’s Disease, left has his ability to walk. He is also kept, housed in a nursing home, taken care of by trained nurses, very well. But he can’t leave. He wants to, I can tell this automation and institutionalization must make him feel like he is living life unfulfilled. My life is not that pleasurable as I would like. I know why. I do have mental illness.

    I believe all forms of technology should exist, and accessible to all people, with no regulation. To me registration, even patents almost, resist  and slow both the development and progress of science , technology , Art.

    That is the goal, as I understand, to further technologic advancment, academic reasearch, scientific development, at magnitudes of great loss to civil liberties, freedom, dignity, happiness. Or to advance technologies, our freedoms, civil rights, dignity and science in the same forward motion, without losing any morals, values, or principles

    But maybe I understand it wrong. Perhaps I am wrong. Computers, internet, explosive devices and machines made for the sole purpose of war, killing another human being and conquering their civilization, incredibly powerful nuclear bombs, those things are probably the right things to produce. Yeah, that’s it, strength, dominion, empire, success, achievement 

    I care about a community for art! I find art useless. No meaning. Color shading lines. The importantance of art in the community is the advances in technology it necessities, assisting creation for the human race. A new drawing technique is developed, this new modes, forms of technologies adapt, change, are invented, vice versa …

    I’m hoping these advances advance my career as I have many suitable, technical skills to offer this worls, and the technology industry, and hopefully the art world.

    This topic could delve into much , much deeper

    Pictured Above: Polish war technologies, 2017, acquired from the US Army. Used in the War in Iraq, killing Saddam Hussien
    Found these definitions online 

    Thought they would be appreciated
    Main Entry: censor

    Definition: forbid; ban; selectively remove

    Synonyms: abridge, black out, blacklist, bleach, bleep, blue-pencil, bowdlerize, clean up, conceal, control, cork, criticize, cut, decontaminate, delete, drop the iron curtain, edit, examine, excise, expurgate, exscind, inspect, launder, narrow, oversee, prevent publication, purge, purify, put the lid on, refuse transmission, repress, restrain, restrict, review, revile, sanitize, scissor out, squelch, sterilize, strike out, supervise communications, suppress, withhold

    Antonyms: allow, approve, endorse, permit, sanction

    Main Entry: conscience

    Definition: moral sense

    Synonyms: censor, compunction, demur, duty, inner voice, morals, principles, qualms, right and wrong, scruples, shame, small voice, squeam, still small voice, superego

    Antonyms: immorality

    Main Entry: critic

    Definition: faultfinder, detractor

    Synonyms: aristarch, attacker, backseat driver, belittler, blamer, carper, caviler, censor, censurer, complainant, complainer, defamer, disapprover, disparager, disputer, doubter, fretter, hypercritic, maligner, muckraker, mud-slinger, nagger, nit-picker, panner, quibbler,  remove

    Synonyms: abridge, black out, blacklist, bleach, bleep, blue-pencil, bowdlerize, clean up, conceal, control, cork, criticize, cut, decontaminate, delete, drop the iron curtain, edit, examine, excise, expurgate, exscind, inspect, launder, narrow, oversee, prevent publication, purge, purify, put the lid on, refuse transmission, repress, restrain, restrict, review, revile, sanitize, scissor out, squelch, sterilize, strike out, supervise communications, suppress, withhold

    Antonyms: allow, approve, endorse, permit, sanction

    Main Entry: conscience

    Definition: moral sense

    Synonyms: censor, compunction, demur, duty, inner voice, morals, principles, qualms, right and wrong, scruples, shame, small voice, squeam, still small voice, superego

    Antonyms: immorality

    Main Entry: critic

    Definition: faultfinder, detractor

    Synonyms: aristarch, attacker, backseat driver, belittler, blamer, carper, caviler, censor, censurer, complainant, complainer, defamer, disapprover, disparager, disputer, doubter, fretter, hypercritic, maligner, muckraker, mud-slinger, nagger, nit-picker, panner, quibbler, 

    Joseph 

    Switch from DBZ TO NARUTO

    Well, growing up in the ’90s in America, “Anime” became very popular, especially by the early 2000’s. Beginning with The Backstreet Boys, and ending in late 2000’s with N’Sync 

    Me and my child hood friends liked pop culture, then i realized how bad boy bands are, they are shit

    Tooning into popular cartoons, as I’m flipping through channels, I see colors, action, battling monsters, in an artistic fashion I hadn’t seen before, Anime

    Such was my introduction to Pokemon, pocket monsters, ” Gotta Catch ’em All “

    I was hooked by then, so we’re the neighborhood friends

    I was later introduced to Dragonball Z

    I loved first time I saw

    Cracker, honky ,little blue eyed devil

    Became addicted to this Japanese cartoon show, and still am obsessed, yay! Dragonball Super!!!!!!!!

    I long for epic battles and juicy, surprising storylines. Overcoming adversity, hardship, trying times. Sticking together to save planet Earth, the Universes, lone survivor left standing battle torn

    Goku , Vegeta , Gohan , Master Rishi, Piccolo , Krillin , Tien , Yamcha and the Z fighters fight the villainous forces of evil and destruction​

    Romance driven

    Kamehameha , Kaioken , Spirit Bomb , Galick Gun , Triple beam cannon , teletransport ability

    Saiyans , Super Saiyan, mystic, 2 3 4 5 , Rosé , Blue , Gold, Legendary , God , Black , White , fused , transformations

    First form , imperfect , second form , third , final , cyber , perfect. Majin, kid, Super. God , golden. transformations 

    I still haven’t seen Naruto.  I guess after all sagas of DragonBall Z series had aired in America, people switched their shounen Anime Otaku to Naruto, or other anime series

    I didn’t, really change that much. Maybe a few Anime movies, the Final Fantasy Movies, Full Metal Alchemy, Cowboy Bebop … I still stick with and love all things Dragonball (and Pokèmon). How great an artistic mind and ability Akira Toriyama has! Wow! Dr. Slump! Genius! Dragonball, incredible! 

    Thinking I’ll start watching some new series I haven’t seen yet … Tokyo Ghoul , Bleach , excited for Boruto 

    Wow

    Truly the highest form of Art in pop-culture

    http://www.cjb.tokyo

    Ate Chinese food

      Short entirely false fiction story

    3 hours of my life.

    Joseph Bukoski

    Mmmmm Chinese food 😀 no matter how much of it you eat, you will still be hungry for more later… I had the single entree shrimp with veggies stir fry fish. Yummy. Ate it in like 4 minutes, delicious. The shrimp were perfectly cooked, succulent, light pink, and fat. I imagine these fat shrimp floating in the ocean before being caught by fisher men fishing their waters!

        The Chinese restaurant I chose was the new one that recently opened here in Susanville CA, The Wok and Grill, hehe

        Writing this from the Burger King, next door. How ironic? I went from one dining establishment to another. Mentioned my previous dinner I consumed less than 5 minutes ago, via the Burger King wifi. All hail the Corporate business firms that control us (especially the homeless).

    We homeless in this town, and other villages around this area basically live our lives from one store to another, searching for electrical outlets to plug our mobile devices into for charging, so that we can enjoy some good Anime (in my case) or Facebook, YouTube, whatever the internet has to offer us homeless.

        By the end of the day, our batteries and lives further drained, we each search for that sleeping spot. Each homeless person’s life is different, with many similarities amongst them. Although, it differs by each individual “house-free” person. 

    Freedom is just another word for nothin left to lose, ~ once sang Janis Joplin.

    Funny, we barely afford cell phones, much less service, for those of us that can afford these things for holy access to the internet, thanks and praise be to the interwebs.

    Not able to afford another meal at Burger King, I sit in the corner comfy padded recliner chairs. A homeless man walked in a short while ago, a buddy of mine​. Stuck, hopefully momentarily, in this struggling situation together, my buddy and I.

    O boy, I could afford to buy Chinese food and soda, but not to rent an apartment, house, or camper. Able to hook up to the internet, but have no place to rest at night, when it’s rainy, cold, and lonely. Deprived of dignity and depressed, sometimes it’s horribly miserable, unstandable. 

    My buddy gets called out the fast food restaurant by another one of us, “house-free” people.

    Broke, no money, no love, no girlfriend/fiance/wife. Nothing, nothin to show for all the internet surfing.

    I hope life gets better.

    I’m sure it does. It’s what you make it, right?

        I’ll start thinking positive, that helps amazingly. The small things in life. Aw, misery! Go away! Life is Good! Jealousy, go away too, I don’t need you and you help me none.

        My buddy comes back. Another person is waiting on him, to use his phone, presumably.

    I get a call all of the sudden.

    Me: “Hello?”

    Caller: “. . . is Buddy there?”

    Me: “Yeah looks like he’s leaving now though”

    Caller: “Oh yeah, put him on the phone …”

    Me: “c’mon man, I was doing something …”

    Caller: “JUZT PIT ‘IM ON THE FUCKING PHONE!”

    I put my phone on Speakerphone​, walk over to my buddy, who is on his way out the door, holding my phone in Buddy’s direction I say ….

    Me: You got a call

    Buddy: Hello?

    Caller (on speakerphone): Hey motherfucker, you scoundrel, I’m gonna get you…

    Buddy: I ain’t got time for this, I got to go, bye man

    Caller: Son of a bitch stop avoiding…

    My buddy walks away from me holding my phone on speakerphone, says he got business to take care of, and leaves with the person that was waiting for him.

    Caller: That buddy of yours has stolen from me

    Me: Sorry man, I gotta let you go, I was in the middle of something…

        Hang up the phone, finish this blog post. All the people in this story described so intimatly are homeless, like-friends, acquientences, resembling family. We all live, eat, breathe, and even fight with each other. Well, all in all we hang out together, even though some of us could be doing other things, 

    “MORE PRODUCTIVE THINGS”

    Says the person hooked on the establishment, and views our way of life as a threat, I’m sure. When, in reality we are the way we should be, want to be. Just like the overaching “system“.

    Yeah, fuck that.

    My fortune cookie fortune read:

    Killing time murders opportunity

    Joseph Bukowski

    I Got Arrested

    Recently released from incarceration. I was held at the Lassen County Correctional Facility. No charge s against me.  Motherfucking police. Fuck cops. All cops are bitches. The piece of shit lawman even beat me up and his fucking cop co-pieces of shit. I was buying Pokemon cards at Walmart. Then the cops Arrested me. 

    This morning I woke up at a local senior center, outside the building under the covered area. It rained and was cold. I smoked a Doobie and ate some peanut clusters chocolate and fudge cookies. Those will make some good turds.

    Fuck you

    Malinowski (Mersyk), Edward

    I just finished reading a short story from the Holocaust memorial website about Edward (Mersyk) Malinowski, and his family’s struggle during the holocaust. Such a great story! I recommend any and all to read this short excerpt, hopefully the past is not relived!

    “Growing up in Warsaw, Edward’s family lived on Nowolipki Street, which later became part of the Warsaw ghetto. Because Edward was so young at the time, he only has vague memories of the events that took place within the ghetto. “

    taken from

    Malinowski (Mersyk), Edward

    Survivor/Escapee, Hidden
    Warsaw (Poland), Pruszkow, Grodzisk, Zyrardow

    READ IT HERE!

     

    I am an Alcoholic

    I dig wine, beer, spirits. Smoke weed … psychedelics etc …

    Susanville, California . I love the place I was born, colloquially referred to as Prison City, USA . O yeah, institutionalization.

    My mother is an Alcoholic, ain’t no hope for us.

    Hoping to get some beer money later, I have $0, and a negative balance in my bank account, once again. First of the month come, and I’ll receive supplemental security income disability from my schizo-effective disorder. I’m currently hungover at the moment, too much tequila last night …

    I believe I am telepathic, and that means I believe I can hear another person’s voice in my head, their thoughts at that moment. I became convinced of this ability when I was committed to the Montana State Hospital in Warm Springs, Montana after an insane confrontation with the police. While at MSH- Warm Springs I slept next to an Indian-American man named Micah, who at night when my thoughts were racing he would speak the words I was thinking at the moment I was thinking them.

    Micah later told me that he had been committed there after black SUV’s pulled up and police came out of them while he was in a poppy field in Western Montana and arrested him, sending him to Montana State Hospital Warm Springs.

    above header image credit http://chatpetit1.deviantart.com/art/Mandala-estaciones-y-climas-275169733